Who is NHT?

An American Indian¹"Lost One" ... ?

a generation of NDN children were lost to their People -
amidst the many lost to dastardly re-indoctrination schools,
an unknown bunch were stolen from their People and absorbed by cultures not their own ...
allegedly i am one of those Lost Ones -
my story begins in Chelsea, MA, a village of Boston when
just months into this life, the first monkey wrench was thrown
and i was abandoned to the landlady --
i'd not know my mother's name or birthplace for 30+ years -
it would be the only verifiable info i'd ever find on her -
internet and all

i grew up being juggled around in the white man's world
until the age of 12 when adoption stole my name -
that's when strangers told me i had to be somebody else now...
it took me almost 40 years to get my own name back.

Boston born and bred i learned indigenous was less than desireable, when nformation of my heritage was kept from me, except for whispered words floating around, like Mexican, Indian, even Indian of India - whispering was unnecessary for the conversations never mattered to me because self-knowledge knew that labels don't validate, create or even support belonging ...

A Cape Cod resident for a long while, i was deeply humbled and honoured one day when my path happened to cross that of local Wampanoag traditional leader, Princess Evening Star, a/k/a: Gertrude Haynes Aikens, below.

Wampanoag Princess Evening Star

a/k/a Gertrude Haynes Aikens
(scroll down when page opens)

our meeting was memorable if only for me -
a newly licensed 17 year old who gave into a longheld curiosity, finally able to visit the teepee gift shop, i stepped into a world i couldn't have imagined -
i certainly didn't know a real Indian princess was the owner -
in keeping with character, i was shy, but she was most gracious, which is why i was confused at the end of our visit when she suddenly became nexplicably impatient.
(i later found out later she was dying.)

i often revisit a treasured memory of her honouring me
in a manner locally known as reserved only for Natives -

she told me that my people were of the 'southwest'
Navajo Diné , she said.
i still have the Navajo doll she gave to me -
Princess Evening Star is the reason why
at 17 believing i'd found my people,
i immersed myself in studying everything Navajo -
it was easy, the Diné seemed so familiar,
somehow home to my solitary heart -

a few years later this New Englander actually travelled Navajo lands, and was surprised to find familiar places opening to me,
of which i'd had no prior knowledge or explanation ...
all i knew is that i had never before seen anyone who looked like me, and those desert museums were filled with photos
of Diné children who felt like lost relatives ...
so it was in Navajo land that my medicine became alive ...
Also by then i knew my mother's name and birthplace ,
and i was delighted by Southwest telephone books to discover that her surname was as common in the land of the Diné
as Smith was in England --

which might seem to confirm the Wampanoag's words ...
but my story is filled with twists, and there's one here that strongly suggests i might be Choctaw ...

my mother's birthplace incorporated into the Choctaw Nation
in 1901, well before she was born, so it's easy to assume she was Choctaw ... Additionally the Choctaw are one of the tallest natives - recently i've shrunk to 5'9" from my lifelong 6' stature... so there's that ...

But even still, here's a wrench to toss into THAT story:

In the Dawes Rolls, official records of all 5 Muskogean Tribes, of which Choctaw is but one, not a single family is listed with my mother's surname ... ??

i confess, after over 7 decades being told who i am and who to be, it's nice to think i could be attached to a specific tribe -

but i also realize that in the end none of this will matter -
what matters is, whether Diné or Chahta or Mestizo,
my medicine is as valid as any other's chosen by this path -

and while this path is traditionally and culturally informed,
for the Lost Ones who walk this path,
teachings of Spirit transcend tribal or cultural boundaries

Mitakuye Oyasin (Lakota), loosely translated:
We are all related

Ah-sheh'heh (Navajo)
Ya ko kae (Choctaw)
Philámayaye (Lakota)
Thank you

yours,
NHT

Ireland's King John Castle on the River Shannon

This Breed's Other Half

Because only my mother was full NDN,

i am also known as a "Breed" -

the man who called himself my father
was nearly full blooded, legendary Black Irish

you know, the unusual-looking Irish with black hair blue eyes -
something to do with the Spanish Armada ...

and while i may have inherited my mother's colouring,
it was because this man held it a fatherly duty
to connect his children to his Celtic background,

that i was named for his favourite place in Ireland -

thus my given name often begged
why i didn't look Irish ...

Raised an Irish cradle Catholic

when the sweeping (and often misinterpreted) changes
were barely thoughts in the mind of JPXX111,

i spent my elementary years steeping in old school education

from the venerable Sisters of St. Joseph,

whose Rule dates back to 1650's France
and whose founder was Jesuit

--------------------------------

the venerable Sisters of St. Joseph,

the same order as my own teachers
--------------------------------

My teachers were the keepers of Catholic esotericism -

and these sisters of the mystical

became more like tutors to me than teachers, in part,

because my experience was far more intimate with them

than one might imagine -

by pure happenstance a member of the family

with whom i was staying at the time

was in fact a Sister of St. Joseph -

so it was i have fond memories of solitary sunday afternoons,

roaming strange convent grounds

while adults behind stone walls enjoyed visits
with their loved ones.

Then by pure chance alone, she became assigned

to the parochial school which i attended

contrary to what one might think,

i did not become the 'star child' of all my peers

for having a 'nun as an aunt' --

instead i followed instructions

to keep our connection secret as an exercise in humility ...

Nuns are rarely impractical,

and that's how i ended up every afternoon
waiting for my ride home

in the convent's front parlour where,

again as instructed,
i would sit almost motionless

fairly lost in an overly large wing-backed chair,

silent and awaiting the melody

of my teachers' afternoon prayer

to waft down the hall and come gently into my hearing ...

without even knowing it, by nurturing my Celtic sensibilities,
these teachers aligned this abandoned one

to walk the path of her sensed American Indian heritage -

and for that i am most thankful

quick links to:

Office

related readings: Doll Story
Father's Day

^{---------------------------------------}

¹American Indian vs Native American * do you know the difference? As i was taught, Indians typically refer to themselves as American Indian - this is because the term Native American is a moniker created by the US government for monetary purposes, which is why the people did not see the label, Native American, as necessarily honourable ...

further, and more importantly the term American Indian does not recognize separation and instead addresses the indigenous of both North and South America *