Who is NHT?

An American Indian¹"Lost One"

a generation of NDN children were lost to their People -
amidst the many lost to dastardly re-indoctrination schools,
an unknown bunch were stolen from their People and absorbed by cultures not their own ...
allegedly i am one of those Lost Ones -
my story begins in Chelsea, MA, a village of Boston when
just months into this life, the first monkey wrench was thrown
and i was abandoned to the landlady --
i'd not know my mother's name or birthplace for 30+ years -
it would be the only verifiable info i'd ever find on her -
internet and all

i grew up being passed around in the white man's world
until the age of 12 when adoption stole my name
and strangers told me i had to be somebody else now...
it took me almost 40 years to get my own name back.

Boston born and bred i learned indigenous was less than desireable, which is why information of my heritage was kept from me, except for quiet words which floated around, like Mexican, Indian, even Indian of India - ultimately apparently it's a question of location and which side of the Rio Grande2 my ancestors were from ...
the conversations never mattered to me; i'd always had a quiet self-knowledge that labels don't create or even support belonging ...

while living on a Cape Cod island, eventually my path crossed that of the local Wampanoag traditional leader, Gertrude Haynes Aikens, a/k/a Princess Evening Star, below.

Wampanoag Princess Evening Star

a/k/a Gertrude Haynes Aikens
(scroll down when page opens)

our meeting was memorable if only for me,
a newly licensed 17 year old who gave into a longheld curiosity
and stopped in at the Princess's gift shop teepee --
at first i was shy, and she was most gracious
despite weariness from battling local officials
to protect her people's ancient burial grounds -
by the end of our visit, though,
she had become inexplicably impatient.
i found out later she was dying.

i treasure the memory of her honouring me
in a manner locally known as reserved only for Natives -
she told me that my people were of the 'southwest'
Navajo Dine, she said.
i still have the Navajo doll she gave to me -
Princess Evening Star is the reason why
at 17 believing i'd found my people,
i immersed myself in studying everything Navajo -
it was easy, the Dine seemed so familiar,
home to my solitary heart -

when this New Englander actually travelled Navajo lands,
inside me, thoughts and places opened up of which
i'd had no prior knowledge, only suspicion ...
the very faces of the Dine reached into my soul -
i had never before seen anyone who looked like me,
and those desert museums held myriad photos
of Navajo children who felt like lost relatives ...
so it was in Navajo land that my medicine became alive ...
Also by then i knew my mother's name and was delighted
by Southwest telephone books to find her surname
as common in Navajo land as Smith is in England

which might seem to confirm the Wampanoag's words -

...except there's another twist in this story strongly suggesting
that i may very well be Choctaw ...
my mother's birthplace incorporated into the Choctaw Nation
in 1901, well before she was born.
Additionally the Choctaw are one of the tallest natives -
recently i've shrunk to 5'10" from my lifelong 6' stature...

But if nothing else, my life has been full of monkey wrenches
and so here is the wrench to toss into THAT story:

in records of all 5 Muskogean Tribes,
of which Choctaw is but one,
not a single family is listed with my mother's surname...??

As it happens legal paperwork weighs more than hearsay,
and the document i have with my mother's birthplace
has recently earned "unofficial" recognition by the Choctaw.

i confess, it's nice to be unofficially attached to a specific tribe,
after 6 decades of being told who i am, and who to be -
but i also realize that in the end none of this will matter -
what matters is my medicine, whether Dine or Chahta or Mestizo is as valid as any other's chosen by this path -

and while this path is traditionally and culturally informed,
for the Lost Ones who walk this path,
teachings of Spirit transcend tribal or cultural boundaries

Mitakuye Oyasin (Lakota), loosely translated:
We are all related

Ah-sheh'heh (Navajo)
Ya ko kae (Choctaw)
Philámayaye (Lakota)
Thank you

yours,
NHT

Ireland's King John's Castle on the River Shannon

This Breed's Other Half

Because only my mother was full NDN,

i am also known as a "Breed" -

the man who called himself my father
was nearly full blooded, legendary Black Irish

you know, the unusual-looking Irish with black hair blue eyes -
something to do with the Spanish Armada ...

and while i may have inherited my mother's colouring,
it was because this man held it a fatherly duty
to connect his children to his Celtic background,

that i was named for his favourite place in Ireland -

thus my given name often begged
why i didn't look Irish ...

Raised an Irish cradle Catholic

when the sweeping (and often misinterpreted) changes
were barely thoughts in the mind of JPXX111,

i spent my elementary years steeping in old school education

from the venerable Sisters of St. Joseph,

whose Rule dates back to 1650's France
whose founder was Jesuit

My teachers were the keepers of Catholic esotericism -

these sisters of the mystical

became more like tutors to me than teachers,

because my experience was far more intimate with them

than one might imagine -

by pure happenstance a member of the family

with whom i was staying at the time

was in fact a Sister of St. Joseph -

so it was i have fond memories of solitary sunday afternoons,

roaming strange convent grounds

while adults behind stone walls enjoyed visits
with their loved ones.

Then by pure chance alone, she became assigned

to the parochial school which i attended

contrary to what one might think,

i did not become the 'star child' of all my peers

for having a 'nun as an aunt' --

instead i followed instructions

to keep our connection secret as an exercise in humility ...

Nuns are rarely impractical,

and that's how i ended up every afternoon
waiting for my ride home

in the convent's front parlour where,

again as instructed,
i sat almost motionless

fairly lost in an overly large wing-backed chair,

silent and awaiting the melody

of my teachers' afternoon prayer

to waft down the hall and come gently into my hearing ...

Nurturing my Celtic sensibilities
i am thankful that these women perfectly aligned me

to walk the path of my American Indian heritage

the venerable Sisters of St. Joseph
my teachers of Catholic esoterics

quick links to:

Office

related readings: Doll Story
Father's Day

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¹American Indian vs Native American * do you know the difference? As i was taught, Indians typically refer to themselves as American Indian - this is because the term Native American is a moniker created by the US government for monetary purposes, which is why the people did not see the label, Native American, as necessarily honourable ...

further, and more importantly the term American Indian does not recognize separation and instead addresses the indigenous of both North and South America *

2 please note: even if i knew which side of the Rio Grande my mother's family comes from,
i would still never ID as Native American